Traditionally, an engagement ring, like a wedding ring is an item of fine jewellery that is going to be worn on a daily basis by the majority of their owners. For this reason it is vital that the ring is liked by the wearer, it is not an occasional piece of jewellery that can be hidden away when not in use, it is something she will have to look at everyday so needs to be the perfect choice.
Selecting the perfect engagement ring is not an easy task, there are so many different styles and settings available, and also you have to take personal taste into consideration, it needs to be something the woman will enjoy looking at forever, I think for a man this is extremely difficult, while they may share their lives together, they may not share the same taste. For a woman an engagement ring is something she wants to show off to everyone, it is a symbol of their love and ongoing commitment to each other, and no woman wants to show off something she absolutely hates the sight of!
For me the actual “event” of ring shopping together, was a very special and romantic experience and I think many women feel the same way, you have your partners undivided attention, and you can try on as many rings as you like in various shops until you find “THE” one, the one you will be happy to look at on your hand every day. I feel if I had been told to go and choose it myself, then it would not have had the same impact, I would have felt he was disinterested and couldn’t be bothered, it would have lost all the romance of the occasion. On the other hand if he had chosen it as a surprise, for a romantic proposal, I can almost guarantee it would not have been something I liked, and I would have again felt a little deflated as I would have been expected to wear it regardless, in order to not hurt his feelings at his heartfelt gesture.
One way round a surprise proposal, may be for the man to select an inexpensive ring for the event, but to tell his then fiancée that they can go ring shopping together for the real one. That way they both get what they want, he the magic of the surprise proposal and she get the ring of her choice. Or maybe to ask the advice of his girlfriend’s best friend or mother, somebody who knows her true likes and dislikes, so he does not show up with a white elephant. If the proposal is something that has already been discussed together, but not actually happened, then perhaps they could go window shopping together, the woman could point out a variety of styles and price ranges and the gentleman could return at a later date to make the actual selection, safe in the knowledge that it is an engagement ring she truly likes and that is is a fabulous prelude to the wedding day.
Ultimately, I do not feel either party should select an engagement ring without consulting their partner, it is definitely too risky for a man to choose a ring alone for the woman in his life. While he may be a romantic at heart, he does not want to saddle his bride to be, with a piece of fine jewellery that she dislikes but has to wear every day for the rest of her life. If on the other hand the woman is sent to select a ring alone, while it will be a ring she loves, there is no special occasion, and he is sending a message that she is not worth the effort of a romantic gesture.
