For some brides there is no question about who will walk them down the aisle. If your parents are still together and you’ve always been a daddy’s girl, you’re all set. When that’s not the case you might find yourself trying to figure out who the heck is going to fill this role on your wedding day. While many brides these days are independent enough to want to march down that aisle themselves this article isn’t about those brides. It’s about the ones who can’t imagine walking down that aisle alone but for some reason don’t have a clear cut idea of who will do it.
Sure, tradition states that your dad walks you down the aisle but what if your dad isn’t actually your father? In the case of divorce and remarriage you may have both a father and stepfather who both mean a lot to you. If that’s the case, what do you do? Having both of them walk you down the aisle could be a bit awkward to say the least, but choosing one over the other could cause hurt feelings and tension within the family.
And then there are brides who don’t have the option of having their father walk them down the aisle because he hasn’t even been a part of their life. In my case, this applies, so when I got married the dad who raised me walked me down the aisle, as opposed to my biological father. But, if I hadn’t had that dad to fill the role who would have done it?
This is a question you may be asking yourself if you are planning a wedding and you are in this position. The right decision depends on you and what you want on the happiest day of your life. You could swallow your pride and ask the father that didn’t raise you to walk you down the aisle or you could choose another male family member or friend. No one can tell you what your decision should be as that is a very personal one that you have to decide on your own.
For brides who are renewing their wedding vows, something I plan to do with my husband within the coming months, there is a whole new opportunity to repeat the experience with whoever walked you down the aisle the first time or choose someone completely different. As I am in a position where my biological father has not been a part of my life, for my vow renewals I am considering asked a beloved relative that I lost contact with for years if he’d be willing to walk me down the aisle in place of the father who is a virtual stranger to me. That may be the right decision for me but you may disagree with me completely. Whoever you choose to walk you down the aisle should be someone who believes in you and your fiancé.
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No one should feel obligated to include someone in their wedding who hasn’t been a real part of their lives. Absentee fathers should not magically appear on a girl’s most special day just because they share the same genes. In this particular situation I think tradition should take a back seat. You can have your Uncle Charley or your older brother walk you down the aisle, whatever makes you happy.