Author: Olga Pomeransky
Divina Sposa by The Group ® 2010 Wedding Collection
When Wedding Dresses and Mothers-In-Law Don’t Match: Tips to Overcome Escalating In-Law Tension
According to a long-term study conducted by Dr. Terri Apter, a psychologist, almost 75 percent of married women admit to mother-in-law difficulties. These, in turn, have resulted in unhappiness and stress on both sides. Contrast that with the substantially lower incidence – just 15 percent – of troubles between mothers-in-law with their sons-in-law and you will realize that you probably need to befriend your hostile future mother-in-law even before looking through all those wedding dresses!
Find a Neutral Ground
Before talking to your future mother-in-law to resolve your conflicts, you have to agree on a neutral venue. This must be a quiet place away from the meddling and needling of other family members, which will allow the conversations to flow more smoothly. Besides, the conflict is primarily between you and your mother-in-law and the presence of interested (in gossip) parties can muddle the issues.
And who knows? The next grounds you will step on are stores selling wedding dresses.
Agree to Disagree
The abovementioned study states that the conflicts between women in-laws start with disagreements on domestic matters like cooking, cleaning and children’s welfare. Well, of course, you will have disagreements simply because you were raised in different generations under different circumstances!
Thus, you will have to agree to disagree on the details of domesticity. Instead, you must focus on general principles and values that will affect the general welfare of the son/spouse and the grandchildren. Soon enough, you might even laugh over the ridiculousness of those ‘80s-inspired wedding dresses.
Focus on the Relevant Issues
Often in confrontations, serious disagreements get muddled by side issues. To avoid this from happening, you can make a list of the things that you feel are the main sources of friction. It does not have to be detailed, just as a general guideline.
When you are conversing with your future mother-in-law, strive to be respectful of her view. In the same way, you have to demand from her the respect that you deserve as the woman her son chose for a wife. When there is mutual respect, you are better able to focus on each other’s feelings and how each one affects the other.
For example, if the issue is about your initial choices of wedding dresses, you can always calmly discuss the reasons for your choices while considering her reasons as valid to a point. It may sound trivial but, often, starting with the little things paves the way for the big things.
Avoid Name-Calling
Not only is name-calling infantile, it can hurt people more than actions ever do. You both need to be calm, cool and collected at all times. Otherwise, it will be exercises in futility, not to mention escalate the tensions to more unmanageable levels. You need to remember that you might be the future wife but your future mother-in-law will always be the mother of your fiancé.
You, on the other hand, might find yourself shredding your wedding dresses when your groom-to-be grows tired of your bickering and just cancels the wedding. Let’s hope it will be temporary.
Indeed, it can provide peace of mind to the wedding planning when you know that both sides are agreeable to the union. At the very least, you can focus more time on finding the right wedding dresses for the ceremony and the reception!
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Flatter Your Voluptuous Figure With Plus Size Wedding Dresses
With society’s emphasis on slim, svelte and skinny, helped in no small way by the tri-media, you are probably wondering about appearing beautiful on your wedding day what with your Rubenesque figure. But have no fear! You can choose from many plus size wedding dresses to flatter your body. Here are tips to do so.
Know your Body Shape
As much as skinny women have varying shapes and sizes, so do voluptuous women. You have to determine your body shape – pear, apple busty – to narrow down your initial selection of plus size wedding dresses. After that, you can start looking at dresses that flatter your figure and hide your flaws.
For example, pear-shaped bodies look best with A-line dresses and square-necked tops that draw attention away from the body’s lower half. Empire cuts and V-necks are good for apple-shaped figures while busty figures should opt for pencil-line dresses and tops with sleeves.
Carefully Choose Colors
Fortunately, plus size wedding dresses come in a host of colors that makes it easy to dress according to size and shape as well as skin tone. But whatever color you choose, it’s always better to stay away from fancy details like ribbons and bows because that will only emphasize your bigness.
The key to wearing plus-size dresses on your wedding day is to go for the colors of the season. You can wear rich, deep colors like orange, deep purple and dark red during the fall and winter seasons while for the summer and spring seasons, you can lighten up with colors like pinks, lilacs, coral, yellow and light blues.
And even if you do choose to wear white on your wedding day, be sure that the hue complements your skin tone. For example, if you are very fair, avoid stark white but instead go for a dress with yellow undertones.
Wear Good Undergarments
The key to holding it all together, literally and figuratively, for plus size wedding dresses is to wear good undergarments. Do not underestimate the perk-up/flatten down ability of a good strapless bra or the hold-in-your-flab goodness of girdles and corsets!
Good underwear, even sexy lingerie, will help you feel good about yourself. You can then feel beautiful inside and out, literally.
Accessorize Appropriately
Although there is no limit to what you can wear with your plus size wedding dresses, you must keep them to a minimum lest you compete with the church decorations, or worse, look like a walking Christmas tree sans lights.
For accessories, you need to stick to one focal piece of jewelry that will highlight your best assets and draw attention away from your perceived flaws. With plus-size women, the jewelry usually is concentrated on the neck or on the ears simply because you want to draw attention to your glowing face. Chunky arm bangles can often emphasize chubby arms although you can always pick fine jewelry for this purpose if you can’t live without arm embellishments.
Truly, your curvaceous figure is one that you should be proud of, skinny be damned. It’s just a matter of choosing the right plus size wedding dresses to wow your guests and, most importantly, get your groom’s salivary glands drooling.
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