Bridal showers are now an essential part of a wedding, and an occasion for the bride to socialize and enjoy herself with her close circle of friends and relatives. Bridal showers are usually hosted by friends or bridesmaids, and not by the bride’s immediate family. However, the lines have blurred now, and it isn’t uncommon to find showers being hosted by the bride’s sister or mother.
As with any other party, certain etiquette rules are associated with bridal showers too. Let us look at some rules that you should pay attention to, if you are a bridal shower host. We will also briefly touch upon etiquette for the bride at the shower.
Limit the party guests
There are two things to pay attention to when inviting guests for the shower
only invite guests who are invited to the wedding too
the number of guests at the bridal shower is not huge.
The idea of hosting a bridal shower is to have an intimate gathering with the people who mean the most to the bride. These people are definitely on the wedding list. If you are not sure of who to invite, here is some help. Make sure you invite the bridal party, the bride’s close friends and family. It is also alright to ask the bride if you have missed anyone she would like to have at her party.
Timing is crucial
A wedding shower should be held at least two weeks ahead of the wedding date, but no earlier than a month. Make sure that you send out the invitations at least two weeks before the date, so the guests are allowed sufficient time to make plans to attend the party.
Plan the cost and date and be prepared to pay
It is the host of the bridal shower who pays for the party—not the bride, nor the bridesmaids. Unless all the bridesmaids want to pitch in and help with both conducting and paying for the party, they are not obligated to. In any case, make sure that the party is properly budgeted for and the expenses and ideas are agreed upon beforee going ahead with plans.
Now here are the rules for the bride
Thank the host with a gift
After all, your host has gone through a lot of trouble to plan your wedding shower. It is only appropriate to give her a small gift to appreciate her efforts. This could be a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers. Don’t forget to include a thank you note as well.
Don’t be demanding and don’t make suggestions unless you are asked
You can have your wedding the way you want it, but don’t expect the same of your bridal shower. Gifts you receive at the bridal shower are usually less expensive than wedding gifts. So, be gracious and enjoy the ritual of opening your gifts at the party, instead of focusing on what you receive. Make sure you write thank you notes to the guests for what they gifted you on this occasion.
For more wedding tips and advice, visit us on Best for Bride.
We have time and again seen advice on wedding etiquette for the bride and groom, as well as the rest of the wedding party. However have we ever taken time to think of what the couple expect from the guests who attend their wedding? Do they or don’t they have to follow certain etiquette rules as well?
The answer is Yes! Just like the married couple, the guests too have to conform to some basic rules, to ensure the wedding progresses smoothly and without hassles. We will cover these over the course of this article.
#Rule 1
Confirm your participation ASAP
Your role begins with receiving the wedding invitation. Quickly confirm whether you will be attending or not. This makes the rest of the wedding planning much easier for the couple. Do it in the format that is suggested on the card. Whether they ask you to reply by message, mail or phone, stick to it so there is no confusion later. A card with an RSVP regrets only message is the only exception, where you have to respond only if you wish to decline the invitation. Read more on it at the Wiki link to RSVP invitations.
Here’s the tricky part. What if you aren’t sure you will be attending? You should still inform the couple of your situation and give them a specific date by which you can confirm.
#Rule 2
Get the gift right
It is customary to give a gift to the couple, and the best gifts are those listed on the couple’s registry. It is unlikely that this information will be provided in the invitation. So, check with the honor attendants or the couple’s parents to find out where they are registered, or look at their wedding website if any. They should ideally provide you with a reasonable number of options. So, make your pick as early as is possible, and either take it with you to the couple’s home prior to the wedding or have it sent directly from the store.
#Rule 3
Dress appropriately and be on time
via Best for Bride
Make sure you find out what type of wedding is planned and dress accordingly. It would be inappropriate to attend a formal event in casual clothes or the reverse. Pay specific attention to details on whether it is black-tie or formal, so you stick to the dress code. Don’t choose a dress that clashes or overshadows that of the bride and groom. Arrive at the venue well ahead of time. It is suggested that you be there at least 30 minutes early. If you are forced to be late for some reason, join the group at the back and don’t cause any confusion.
#Rule 4
Be kind and gracious with your comments
Every couple wants to hear that they’ve had a beautiful wedding. Even if you think otherwise, keep your thoughts to yourself. Congratulate the couple personally when you get the chance. Don’t make any snide remarks, and don’t embarrass the couple or the rest of the wedding party in any way. Try to wait till the bride and groom leave before you depart. Should it be impossible, inform a member of the wedding party that you have to depart and don’t forget to mention that you’ve enjoyed being part of the wedding.
Find the right dress to wear for any type of wedding this year at our link for evening gowns and special dresses on Best for Bride.
Wedding etiquette restricts couples from displaying their wedding registry information on their wedding cards. Since this direct link with your wedding guests is out of the question, you need to look at other options to inform your guests about where you are registered. Remember that this should be done tactfully, and your guests shouldn’t have the impression that you are declaring your interest in receiving gifts.
Having said that, it is a fact that most wedding guests want to get you a wedding gift that you will actually use; not return or stash in the attic. Let us look at how you can make your registry information available to your guests, so they can locate it easily without asking you directly.
1. Make sure that your parents, siblings and all those involved in the wedding party know
It is only logical to assume that the wedding guests will turn to those closest to you, to obtain your registry information. So, make sure they know where you are registered, as well as what items are included in your registry, so they can pass it on to whoever needs it. You can also consider designating the people in your wedding party to discretely pass the information around, so it reaches everyone.
2. Have a wedding website
A wedding website is essential today, and this is not just for putting your wedding registry information. Aside from using it to update all the relevant details of your wedding, you can create a page with all your registry information on it. Then include the wedding website URL on your invitation, and your guests will easily find what they want without having to ask. A wedding website is in fact, one of the most popular choices that most couples turn to, today. Use this option the most, and your guests will appreciate the ease with which they can gather all the information regarding the wedding, including venue details, timings, type of wedding being hosted and any other information that you would like them to know.
3. Use the bridal shower invitation to pass the information along
The bridal shower invitation is an appropriate way to provide your wedding registry information. Technically, the shower is hosted by someone other than the bride. So, you will not breach any etiquette rules, by having it printed on the invite. Inform your maid of honour, mother, sister or whoever is in charge of the bridal shower, to add this in. The word will be passed along, and all those who want to know will obtain it this way.
We talked about why a wedding website is a great idea. It is also pretty easy to do, even for those who aren’t tech-savvy. There are a number of free website builders, that allow you to make a splendid website, without any help from a professional. We suggest that you take a look at eWedding for some fantastic ideas.
Wedding registries help guests to find useful gifts for the to-be-married couple. This is very helpful for them to set up their home, when they begin their new life together. Today, many couples may be living together long before they are married. Nevertheless, a good wedding registry allows them to get a little help with what they need to make their married life function more smoothly.
Over the course of this article, we will tell you why a registry is a good idea, how to inform your guests about where you are registered, how to make the best use of your wedding registry and also a list of registry must-haves that will help you set up home conveniently.
Is a wedding registry even necessary?
Some couples feel that wedding registries are not a good idea, since it gives the impression that you are fishing for gifts. Do you agree with them or are you undecided on whether a wedding gift registry is a good idea?
Here are our arguments in favor of having wedding registries. The couple and their guests should pay attention to setting up or picking gifts from a wedding registry for these reasons:
It goes without saying that guests will get gifts for weddings. If every guest at the wedding were to pick a random gift, it is likely that you will end up with stuff that may not be useful to you at all, while you will still have to find the space to accommodate it till you decide what to do with it.
Different couples have different preferences. If your guests have no idea of your tastes, the likelihood of receiving gifts that serve no purpose or clashes with your choices, is very high.
If a couple have been living together for a while, it is likely that they will already have stocked up on the essentials. In that case, your registry will help your guests pick an item that will actually be useful, than go for something that you already own.
Now that you know why registering for gifts is sensible, let us look at how you can let your guests know where you are registered.
How to tell your guests where you are registered
Traditional wedding etiquette condemns you from putting your wedding registry on your wedding invitation. This makes it difficult for you to inform your guests about what you would like to receive. Fortunately, there are other ways, and here they are.
Entrust the task to your bridesmaids, mother and rest of the wedding party
A guest who wishes to find out where you are registered will be hesitant to ask you directly for your registry information. Instead, they will mostly ask a member of your bridal party. So, make sure your women in waiting know where you are registered, and pass it along when asked.
Use the bridal shower invitation
While it isn’t right to use the wedding invitation to share the wedding registry, the bridal shower invitation can be used for this purpose. Why? Technically, the shower is hosted by someone other than the bride. Since there will be invitations going out for this event, you can request your maid of honor, or whoever is in-charge of hosting it, to make this information readily available to those who seek it.
Wedding website
Every wedding today has to have a wedding website. This allows the couple to share relevant information pertaining to the wedding. Now, the guests needn’t worry if they lose the invitation card, or forget to ask about certain details. We suggest that you add your wedding registry to your wedding website, and your guests will have no difficulty locating it.
How to efficiently plan your wedding registry?
There are many lessons we can learn from couples who have previously tested the waters. This couple on Apartment Therapy tell us that like most couples, they had no idea on where to begin and ended up looking at their parents’ kitchens, pulled out a few lists of must-haves from magazines and created a registry. While some of these picks continue to serve them, others ended up being discarded or in the donation pile.
So, how do you make sure that your wedding registry contains what will be most useful to you? Here are some tips
#Don’t go with the trend
Remember that expensive gifts should last long. So, don’t get caught up in the trend of what is hot today. Whether you find a trendy flatware pattern appealing, or feel hot pink towels are impressive, think of whether your taste will change over the years. The best thing to do is to stick with safe options in neutral colors, so that it will not look dated over the years.
#Choose individual items instead of a set of pieces
While it may look attractive to have a set of items that match, think thoroughly about how useful each piece will be to you. Make the best use of your gift choices by opting for items that will each serve a purpose, and you will have just the right things taking up space in your house.
#Don’t forget the basics
Instead of choosing occasionally useful items, give priority to the essential must-haves. A good set of knives, bath towels, bed linen, flatware and cutlery are all worthwhile investments, when you consider how well they serve you everyday. Don’t forget the essential toolbox and gardening items either, if you make use of these regularly.
#Upgrades and matching sets
If you live together already, and have your basic inventory covered, make use of your registry to get items that will complete your existing sets. Also, if you have been making do with what is available, this may be the right opportunity to upgrade to all-matching choices. You should also take a look at what you could have a few extras for. Say, you have always been short of wine glasses or serving bowls, when you entertain. Make sure to add that to the list and stock up on what will help you better.
#Say yes to gift coupons
At times, it is best for both parties if you receive gift coupons in place of gifts. This allows you to pick out what you want, and your guest needn’t rack their brains considering what will be the best choice for their budget, from the list you have created. So, don’t forget to tick the box for gift coupons in your registry. Also, when you write your thank you note, do mention what you got for the gift coupon, so your guest knows that you’ve put their thoughtful gift to good use.
#Keep the list varied and with items with differing costs
Do not restrict your registrations for only items that are available in sets. Keep your registry varied and with items of every price range, so your guests can pick what fits their budget. By choosing individual pieces, you can also build up your stock of items, which will allow you to entertain conveniently, whether you are hosting a party for 6 or 12.
Now, let us take a look at the must-have’s every couple should register for.
List of 10 must-have’s that no couple should overlook.
1.Dinnerware
A whole dinnerware set in a neutral color, that you can use everyday is a must-have. Be careful when choosing the color, as you want it to live long and blend in easily with your varying tastes over time. White dishes are the best. Although they may not look too attractive, food of any color looks appealing when placed in a white dish. So, this is the perfect way to make sure your culinary efforts are most noticeable.
2. Flatware
Make your choice between silverware or the more practical stainless steel flatware. Keep in mind that dishwasher safe flatware are easiest to manage, and stainless steel often does best over time. If you already have a handy set, go for the silver. Nevertheless, remember that silver will tarnish, and so calls for extra care if you don’t use it regularly. Spend some time researching the options, and pick a pattern that you will love even after years have gone by.
3.Casseroles, saucepans and frying pans
Your food habits should determine what utensils will be useful for you. Assemble a basic cookware set with minimum three of these mentioned items. Like I said before, it is better to mix and match pieces to create the right mix of useful items, than just go with sets of many pieces that may not entirely be useful for you. Do you find yourself wishing for a soup pot all the time? Or would you like a wok for the Chinese food you always seem to cook? Then this is what should go on your registry.
4.Glassware
Wine glasses, shot glasses, beer mugs, drinking glasses; all that you think should comprise your glass cabinet. Standard sizes and shapes are your best bet, as you will find it easier to replace should one break. Unusual fancy ones may be difficult to replace, and will spoil your set if even one is lost.
5.Sharp knives and a knife block
The essential for modern day cooking, a set of sharp knives are a treasure that will save you time and effort in the long run. Make sure you add the basic four: a stellar chef’s knife, paring knife and serrated knife and knife sharpener to your wedding registry. Add a knife block to store these knives in. Not only will it save you valuable space, but also makes storage of these precious kitchen essentials safe and smart.
6.Cutting board
The wooden cutting board is a great investment and one that will last a lifetime. Add this to your registry, and get rid of those pale and tired looking plastic cutting boards that have been cluttering up your kitchen all this time.
7.Bed linen
Over the years, you will realize that you can never have too many good sheets. So, make sure you stock up on all the basic linen, including pillow cases, flat sheets and fitted sheets, by adding it to your registry. It would also help to have a few extras for backup. Choose a basic color that will be a timeless choice, and with a good thread count so they serve you for long.
8.Bath towels
Just like with the bed sheets, you will always find use for bath towels. Put down pairs of bath towels, hand towels and face towels. You do not have to stop with just one pair. Remember to stick with colors that will look fresh over the years.
9.Serving Dishes
A serving platter and an assorted range of serving dishes are essentials for every couple who loves to entertain. Although you may not think it is necessary right now, it will be a good investment that will be handy in the future. A large serving platter is a must, as it is versatile and can hold anything from rice and pasta to fruits, cupcakes and starters.
Do you think there is anything more that should be added to this list? If so, don’t forget to put it in the comments section below.
While we are on the topic of wedding registries, let me also remind you to constantly update yours, once you have it set up. As your guests tick items off your registry, update it with more options, so even the last guest has enough to choose from. This is where your multiple sets of items like bed linen and towels will come in handy.
Continue visiting us at Best for Bride for more wedding tips and advice. Your one-stop destination for everything bridal, we have all that you need to make your wedding day a success, under one roof. With extensive bridal dress collections, bridesmaids and flower girl dresses, as well as cakes, wedding stationery, flowers and décor, we have every aspect of your wedding covered. Visit us today and make your wedding dreams a reality.
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