So, you’ve begun the challenging job of cutting your 300+ something guest list short, and it doesn’t look like most of the people are going out of it. What do you do?
You have a big wedding!
Well, it wouldn’t be true if I said that it was no big deal, but throwing a big wedding isn’t as impossible as it may seem. All you need are a few tips to start you off, and you will be soaring forward with your wedding plans in no time. So, what are you waiting for. It’s time to plan that big wedding you want, with this important advice.
#1 Start with the guest list and plan your budget, and not the other way around
For a small wedding, the ideal approach is to fix your budget and then decide how much money goes where. Forget this for a big wedding. First plan your guest list. Then look at affordable venues that can accommodate this head count, and caterers who will serve a decent meal, without breaking your bank. Do your calculations along the way, and see what you end up with. If it is more than what you can afford, it may be time to look at vendors who charge less, or think again about what you want.
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#2 Hire a professional planner
Small weddings are stressful enough, imagine perfecting the details for a large one! Unless you are a super-organized, cool-headed, planning perfectionist, planning the details of a big wedding can be huge stress. Hire a professional to take on the task, and it will be money well-spent.
#3 Ditch all that which isn’t necessary
Check out this wedding at A Practical Wedding Blog. The sensible couple left out centerpieces, by opting for an informal buffet style reception. With this arrangement, there was no need for elaborate floral arrangements on the tables. Instead, they splurged on the caterer who supplied a delicious spread and also hired an amazing band that kept the huge wedding party on their toes.
#4 Make sure you hire an experienced vendor
Don’t sign a contract unless your vendor has previously worked with a party just as big as yours. The same goes for the venue you choose. Can it accommodate so many people? Do they have enough bathrooms, so your guests won’t spend all day in a queue to the loo? Check out these details before confirming.
#5 Keep your calm and let some things go
It may seem impossible at times, but just remember that all this is definitely worth the effort. You will be surrounded by everyone you always wanted at your wedding. So, who cares if you couldn’t gift them personalized favor bags, or you had to make do with a simple cake with no fancy flavoring! Everyone’s had a bash in the end, and your memory will forever be remembered. Isn’t that worth it?
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When you are just engaged and about to embark on the interesting, but challenging task of wedding planning, it’s funny how everyone seems to share wedding planning advice. Well, it is the first time you will be planning something of this magnitude, and so you deserve some well-intended help. You may obtain some very useful information, and then again there is the occasional chance of hearing something totally unexpected or even bizarre. Nevertheless, there are always some things that most brides wish they’d known while they were planning their wedding but had to tackle as an unexpected and usually challenge.
While it is impossible to foresee everything that will happen on your big day, it helps to prepare for whatever is possible. Plan for everything, collate all the information you can possibly obtain, and execute it with gusto—you can then enjoy every expected and unexpected challenge that wedding planning throws at you.
Here is a list of ten things that every soon-to-be bride should know before she starts wedding planning. Check it out.
Checklists are your friend
Wedding planning is a complex task, and you are probably doing it for the first time ever. There are hundreds of details to plan, tasks to handle and arrangements to make. It is only human to make errors and miss out on certain things when planning everything.
The easiest way to stay on track is to turn to checklists for help. Divide up every wedding aspect into an individual project and create checklists of tasks to be completed for each of them. This will help you organize your time better, sort out tasks based on their priority and most importantly, make sure that you do not miss anything when planning your wedding.
You can always take the trusted pen-and-paper route for planning your checklists, or if you are a tech-savvy bride, use a tool that will help you manage it efficiently. Evernote is a handy option to keep track and manage your lists with precision on your digital devices.
Now, for the checklists that you will require, you can find a comprehensive checklist on Real Simple. This is divided based on the time by which you should accomplish each task. You may also like to take a look at this interactive checklist on Brides.com. This can be customized to meet your individual needs.
When choosing vendors, only go with those you are most comfortable with
If there is one task that you have to research well, it is choosing your vendors. From your photographer to your florist, you will have several options. The important thing is to remember that none of them will be the same. In fact, they’ll each be as distinct as you can possibly expect. Every vendor is different in the way they approach their work, how they interact with customers and how experienced they are in handling specific tasks.
You will be interacting with your vendors a LOT! So, don’t make the mistake of settling for someone who you aren’t comfortable with, right from the start. The personality of the person you have to work with will affect the way you feel about that aspect of your wedding. So, dig a little deeper than just trying to get the cheapest deal. Don’t just go with what others have to say about the vendor you have shortlisted. Don’t hesitate to ask for portfolios, samples or explanations, as is necessary in each case. It is also wise if you do not make assumptions, but clarify your doubts outright, so you can be certain that you and your vendor are on the same page. If you feel that the vendor you speak to doesn’t understand your vision, or cuts you off by saying that what you want is impractical, don’t let it be and comply with what they have in mind instead. Keep looking. After all, it is your wedding and there will be someone who can get you what you want, or at least the closest to what you have in mind.
Don’t forego this part even if you are working with a friend or family as your wedding vendor. However close they may be to you, you do not want anything ruining your wedding. So, make sure that you are one hundred percent comfortable with the decision you make, and you will not regret it later.
Disagreements are a given evil
You will be touching on several details during your wedding planning, and it is only natural to hit a roadblock once in a while. You may disagree with your parents, partner, vendor or even bridesmaids on some factor or the other. Everyone will have expectations and opinions. Your maid-of-honour may condemn the colour you choose for the bridesmaid’s dresses or your friends may try to convince you that a DJ is a better choice than a live band. If your parents or to-be in-laws are paying for part of your wedding, it is only natural that they will expect to have a say in it. You may also have friends or relatives who may pressurize you into handing over a wedding task to them when you prefer hiring a professional for the same. There is no easy way out, and you should realize where to draw the line. Accept that there will be disagreements along the way, and you may have to reject suggestions that you simply cannot take.
It is impossible to please everyone, or you wouldn’t have the wedding YOU want! Be prepared to say No when necessary, and it will be a lot easier to handle. As a bride, one of the most difficult tasks is to recognize when it is more important to go with your choice and when it is another opinion that would be a better choice in that situation. Our article on “How to Handle it when others try to take over your wedding” should give you some advice on how to tackle tricky situations in the best possible way. Don’t worry about what others may think of your wedding decisions. Finally, you will regret it if everyone had their way, but you didn’t get to do anything you wanted to.
Plan to spend on the most important things
There is no rule book that specifies how should get married. Like we said earlier, you will hear suggestions and receive advice. Nevertheless, it is your wedding, and you should get to pick what is important, so this day is special for you. Split your budget accordingly, and splurge on the things that are most important to you. Don’t worry about the rest.
Think of what you will find most memorable about your wedding day. If it is where it will be held, set aside the greater part of your budget for the venue and décor. If it is how you look, it should be your wedding outfits and accessories. If both of you favourite food, make sure the wedding menu is given due importance. If you have a penchant for the finer details, it could be the smaller things like your tableware, party favours and statement pieces that you should focus on. Some couples prefer to spend a major part of their budget on the photographer. If fashion photography or elaborate scenic settings are what you want, so be it.
Your wedding planning is hard work, irrespective of the style you choose
Whether you plan to host a casual or a formal wedding, it will be hard work either way. Remember that even though you needn’t choose the classic centrepiece flower design if you are having a casual affair, you will still have to decide what you want instead. Every decision has to be yours, and every single aspect is arranged under your supervision. This simply means that you will need time, organization skills and effort to plan everything. We think wedding planning is a difficult task, as almost every married woman will agree. When you handle every aspect of it yourself, it becomes even more tedious. A wedding planner can relieve your stress to a considerable extent, and so every bride should at least consider a day-of planner to get some breathing space.
Wedding planners can direct you to the right vendors who can meet your requirements, and they can also follow up and ensure everything moves as per plan. This in itself, is a huge stress-buster. Nevertheless, there is always a point in time when a bride suddenly feels overwhelmed and tends to buckle under wedding planning stress. The best way out is to realize the extent of effort that goes in and be prepared for it. Time is a valuable entity, so make sure you have plenty of time and divide your tasks so you have sufficient bandwidth to complete them all on time. Also, don’t forget to catch much-wanted breaks, when you spend time away from everything that is wedding-related.
Everyone has their own interpretation of terms
Almost every term in wedding lingo is highly subjective. When you say romantic, you may have a colour palette with peach, gold and gray in mind. You may envision your wedding to be at a casual, romantic outdoor setting such as a resort or garden. At the same time, the same term may give your mother an entirely different idea. She may consider your getting married to your prince charming in fairy tale style romantic. She may expect it to be held in an elaborate ballroom setting, with a four-course plated meal to complete it in classic style. The same goes for your dress selection, choice of wedding cake, entertainment and almost every other aspect of your wedding.
In the world of weddings, a word that is thrown around a lot is “classic.” Take a look at this page on the Knot, with some Real classic wedding examples. You will soon see how one couple’s idea of classic, is entirely different from another. So, the term classic can mean anything by itself.
So, make sure that you elaborate on what you mean, wherever necessary. Specify what you mean, especially to your vendors, instead of using vague terms or those that are prone to varying interpretations. If you have pictures to convey your ideas, that is the best option of all. When the concerned person can see what you mean, there is no scope for confusion. You can thus be certain that you will get exactly what you envisioned.
You will have to spend a lot of time reading terms and conditions
Once you shortlist your vendors, it is necessary to sign contracts with all of them, so the terms and conditions of service are documented. This will ensure that both of you know what is expected and that it is done properly. Unfortunately, many couples simply sign the vendor contracts that are drawn up by the vendors themselves, without really going through them in detail. This can cause many unexpected hassles on the day of the wedding.
For example, you may not have noticed the part where your photographer’s contract mentions that you will have to pay extra for every extra hour he spends at your wedding, or that he will be available only for so many hours. Imagine running up a bill that goes beyond what you anticipated, or worse, not having a photographer for the crucial exit moment of your wedding!
Make sure that you read every single sentence on your vendor contract, and have it modified to meet your needs, so you actually get what you expected. If you are unclear about any of the terms, make sure to ask and clarify before approving it. You can always negotiate and discuss the terms and modify the contract before you sign it. This will save misunderstanding later, and also allow you to make alternate arrangements when required.
After months and months of tedious planning, organizing and anticipation, your wedding day is finally here.
“Poof!” Before you even know it, it’s over!
How familiar does this scenario sound? Check with the married women you know. We are sure that the majority of them will agree that their wedding was a haze of activity, and they hardly had time to notice and enjoy the details that they meticulously planned and put together. Let this be a lesson learned. If you are a bride planning your wedding soon, make sure that you enjoy your big day to the fullest, and we have the tips to help you make sure you do. So, let us get started.
1.Be calm and stress-free
Easier said than done, we know! There are many details to get right, timing constraints to meet and so many people involved in your wedding. So, don’t be surprised if you find yourself agonizing on how everything will progress, and if it will be hassle-free. In fact, you may find yourself pondering over this days before your wedding, and trust us it can cause a lot of stress. The last thing you want on your wedding day is to be stressed out and unable to enjoy it due to worry.
The best way to overcome stress is to be organized with your wedding planning from day one. Treat your wedding like a project, with specific details and plans for every task and sub-task. Set aside a diary or calendar to include everything you want about your wedding. Or, if you are tech-savvy bride, turn to the digital domain to plan and organize your wedding tasks. Do everything well ahead of time, so you are prepared for every situation and have every aspect in place well before the wedding day. Make sure you mark your calendar with when to follow up with each vendor, check on the bridesmaids duties and other details. Also, set aside some buffer time to accommodate any last minute changes to plan.
If you have an organized approach to your wedding planning, it will be a lot easier. Nevertheless, don’t forget to add in plenty of time for relaxation exercises, meditation and most importantly, “Me-time” free from any wedding planning, so you can unwind and relax on a regular basis. You can find some really good tips on how to handle wedding planning stress in our articles here and here. Trust us when we ask you to take it seriously, it will go a long way in keeping you sane.
2.Get a wedding planner
A wedding planner may cost you a notable chunk of your wedding budget, but it is money well-spent if you are a bride who is easily overwhelmed with planning and organizing events. Remember that your wedding is a big occasion, the challenges of which you may not be able to fathom. As you are a novice to wedding planning, you may find it eating into your time and energy, and causing stress. Check out all the brides on Wedding Bee complaining about how frustrated the feel about managing every detail of their wedding themselves. Don’t make the same mistake. Delegate at least part of it, if not all the wedding planning to someone who is capable of it. If you cannot afford a full-time planner, at least consider a day-of-planner, so you can breathe easily on the day of your wedding.
A professional wedding planner has experience organizing every detail of a wedding, and can eliminate a lot of confusion that you may otherwise face. Last-minute changes can drive brides nuts, but with a wedding planner, everything can be managed in the nick of time. Following up with vendors, making sure they are where they should be, checking if things are running as per schedule, managing conflicts and giving you valuable wedding advice—yes, we say hire a wedding planner, and you will thank yourself for it!
3.Delegate most of the responsibilities to friends and family
The last thing you want on your wedding day is to keep checking if your bridesmaids are dressed on schedule and at the venue on time, whether the flowers are where they should be, whether the guests arrive at the venue without any hitches, or the caterers are setting up the food as per plan. Unfortunately, brides end up with a tight schedule on their wedding morning, because of managing all these details. They can easily lose track of time and the result is that they fail to enjoy the important moments as they should. Our advice is to delegate each and every one of these tasks to people who can handle it, and stay out of their way. I am certain that you will have many friends and relatives who are eager to help. So, distribute these responsibilities among them. Let your Maid-of-Honor be in charge of the bridesmaids, a family member in charge of the flowers, one of your friends responsible for overseeing the catering team, the groomsmen in charge of coordinating the guests and your parents responsible for things at home.
All you need to make sure is that the person handling the task is reliable and capable of doing the necessary task with gusto. Provide them with explicit instructions of what they are expected to, and just let it go from your list of tasks.
When you delegate these responsibilities to different people well-ahead of time, you will have to be contacted only if there is an unexpected emergency. This will take a huge burden off your neck, and you can relax and find more time to enjoy on your wedding day. Check out this quick thread on delegating tasks at A Practical Wedding website. The brides here made the most of the help offered by their friends and family, and did it in such a fun manner. You may also be able to borrow an idea or two and enjoy the process, the same way.
4.Be prepared for every scenario and don’t let anything spoil your mood
Wedding day disasters do happen, but it doesn’t mean the end of the world. Although you may cringe at the very thought of such an issue, remember that you should prepare for it, and you will later not regret it. A bridal emergency kit is an absolute must-have and will come to your rescue in most cases. Visit this link to find out how to make your own or buy one. This will help you tide over most wedding day dress mishaps.
As for the other snags that may happen, don’t dwell on it too much and mentally prepare yourself to let it go. Don’t lose perspective of the big picture by obsessing over small details that will be insignificant in the long run. Should an unexpected issue crop up at the last minute, just think of the easiest fix for it at the moment, and don’t worry too much about it. Consider that most of the things that go wrong will be noticed only by you, so give it only the importance it deserves.
Still feel like you need some reassurance? Here’s this interesting article on The Bustle, that details 9 things that can go wrong at your wedding. It pretty much covers everything, but we like the practical solutions they have suggested for each of them. Go through it, and you will find nothing that happens on a wedding day, is as severe as it seems at the time.
5.Plan your wedding day morning so you have plenty of time
Your wedding day is a day that you deserve to enjoy. But, finding time for it is crucial. So, limit your activities and schedule only those that are absolutely necessary into your time-line, so you can relax and savor every moment. Wake up early, and start the day on a fresh note. Begin with exercise, meditation or a long soak in the tub. Refreshing yourself in this manner, will uplift your spirits and help you feel confident that you can handle the day ahead.
Dressing for your wedding will take you time, so schedule in more than just the required minimum for every task. If you have already had a hair and makeup trial, you should have a fair idea of how long it will take you to get dressed on the day of your wedding. Our suggestion is to add an extra hour to this time, just to be on the safe side. Get everything you need for your wedding day ready the day before. Also, supply necessary instructions to the wedding party on the day before the wedding, so you needn’t bother with the details on the day itself, and can put this time to better use. This article on the things you need to do the day before your wedding will guide you in this direction.
6.Make sure you have all your meals and are well hydrated
Food and water may be the last thing on your mind in the rush leading up to your wedding. Nevertheless, it plays an important role in ensuring your well-being. With all the nervousness and excitement of the wedding running high, you can quickly feel light-headed and dizzy. When you carry on without eating properly, you may feel hungry and without energy as the day progresses. This can take away all the fun of enjoying your day. So, don’t skip your meals.
The best way to ensure you have your food is to designate time for it in your wedding day schedule, and you won’t have to worry about finding time for it. Plan your wedding day meals in advance, so it is quick and simple, but capable of keeping you energetic and fueled. Meals that are high in protein and complex carbohydrates are the best. It is equally important that you stay hydrated throughout the day. Stick with your regular intake of liquids, so your skin and eyes look fresh and glow.
If you aren’t sure of what you should be having on your wedding day, we recommend that you check out this fantastic article on Byrdie.com. Here, fitness expert Jessica Sepel, provides valuable tips on what to eat on your wedding day. This should cover all your bases.
7.Put aside all tech gadgets and attend only necessary calls
We know how impossible it is to get anywhere without our phones, tablets and other digital devices. Let your wedding day be different. Remember that once you open your social media accounts, or just decide to check your mails, you may become engrossed in it and lose precious time. So, stay away from all electronics on the day of your wedding. You may feel tempted to thank your friends and well-wishers for their wedding day wishes right away, but curb the temptation. It can wait till after the wedding, and they anyway know you are busy and don’t expect you to reply right away.
The same goes for your cell phone. Put it aside, even disconnect it. Or hand it over to someone like your mother or maid-of-honor. On your wedding day, the only calls you should be attending are those from your wedding planner. Anything else can wait, or can go through someone else. If you want to click a few selfies on the day of your wedding, definitely go ahead with it, but after that put your phone away.
Turn off your mobile and all other gadgets before you go to bed the night before your wedding, and you will be surprised at how calm your day is and how much more time you suddenly seem to have.
8.Don’t forget to take it all in
If you want to remember the most important moments of your wedding day, make sure that you spend a minute or two taking it all in. On your wedding day, share a few minutes with your parents and capture that moment in memory. During the ceremony, spend an extra minute just to look around and enjoy the scene. Have a proper look at your bridegroom when he first sees you, and burn it into your memory. Enjoy your wedding photo shoot and live in the moment. Make sure that you have these deep happy moments to recollect later and remember your wedding day by. It will not feel as though it passed too soon, when you do.
Your wedding plans depend on the amount of money you are ready to spend. With thousands of big and small details to look at, it is often difficult to determine what deserves more attention than the other.
If you are like most couples, your wedding may be the first occasion when you plan a party, so huge. So, it certainly isn’t easy. If you enlist the help of a wedding planner, you will receive very useful guidance on this front. This is because they are professionals, who have practice planning on a budget. Additionally, when working with a wedding planner, you don’t end up with nasty shockers like mentioned on this APW article, where something turns out to be twice the price you anticipated. One or two such instances, and all your budgeting goes for a toss. Nonetheless, wedding planners come at an added price, and not every couple can afford them.
In such a scenario, the easiest way is to prioritize what is most important to you, and plan your budget around it. Pick three priorities, allocate funds to these first, and then decide how to distribute the rest of your budget.
Take a look at this list, and choose the three most important things you want for your wedding from it. Once you do, you can divvy up your budget to accommodate the remaining details.
Dream venue and décor
Are you open to looking at various venue options, or do you have your heart set on a single location? All-inclusive wedding packages cover everything at a reasonable price, but do you want everything customized with the added price tag? Are you particular on a specific color palette, seating arrangement, or centerpiece design? If so, set aside a chunk of your budget for all this.
Menu and bar
Must you have a classic five-course plated meal, or will a buffet do? Do you want an open bar, or serve custom drinks only? Do you want your wedding to be remembered for the food and drinks you served, or is it just one of the other things at your wedding? Hiring local vendors and customizing your menu around seasonal dishes can reduce your food bill, if serving gourmet fare isn’t very important, to you.
Entertainment and photography
Wedding entertainment, in many cases, is what makes a reception a hit or miss. Here, you have to weigh the price of a live band against a DJ, consider the cost of games and hiring special entertainers for children. Similarly, do you want a particular professional photographer to cover your wedding, even if it means he charges twice as much as the others in the area?
Flowers, centerpieces, wedding cakes and favors
If you are prepared to try out various floral combinations, you may get a better deal. Similarly, how important is having exquisite centerpieces? As for favors, do you want to gift expensive one-of-a-kind favors, or is it enough to choose a keepsake, without a hefty price attached to it? In the cake department, how important is customizing it with very specific details? Or can you work with the best packages on offer?
Dresses for the couple
The wedding dress is expensive. Do you want to buy it brand new, or is it better to rent your dress, or even use mom’s dress, and save the rest of the money for something more important to you? The same goes for the groom too. If you plan on keeping the dress, figure in the cost of professionally preserving it as well.
